still tickled

Obsessed with my potential sister drama, I failed to give you the scoop on my last day in Oakland. As I alluded to before, it was mostly uneventful. Though the family spent the day at school and/or work, I was implored to stick around in order to spend some time with the girls after class. I checked my email. I surfed the web. I downloaded marine mammal ringtones I can't get in my third world county. (No VCast available here, though Verizon will happily bill me for the service if I forget to cancel before my free trial expires...) I watched my soap opera. I finished reading the Lord of the Flies. (I know, strange that I've never read it, eh? Actually there are so many books I feel I've missed. I really should've been an English major. My GPA would be higher, I know that. Anyway, thanks to a tiff between the English teachers at my jr. and sr. high, I have read the Scarlet Letter twice. That should count for something?). Then I tried to nap but I found I'd had to much coffee.

Ultimately the girls got home. Their mom was still at work and their dad was doing errands, so under my supervision they pretended to do homework while making phone calls and sending text messages. There was much snacking and some mild gossiping.

While Zoe created a CD (this generation's version of the mix tape) for her boyfriend, I finally let Sadie cut my hair. Since I knew I was driving home, I couldn't turn to the cheap wine for comfort. As a result, Miss Sadie had to put up with a lot of whining. Mostly I complained that the scissors selected would be lucky to cut paper. In fact, much of the initial work was performed by something more akin to tearing than snipping. Luckily, a slightly better pair of scissors was uncovered after my repeated protests. I then demanded she choose between texting and trimming, as she was constantly putting down the scissors to pick up her cell. She tried to get me to text for her by proxy (I believe the exact message I was asked to send was, "So who do you sort of like?") but then she realized how lame I am at texting and she let me off the hook. Next we clashed over style - the techniques she's applied to her own luxurious locks just don't work on puny hair. At least she didn't try to do anything super creative (clearly I had broken her spirit) so in the end, it actually looks pretty good, I think. Still, I have cured Sadie of any desire to cut my hair in the future.

Finally their mom came home. After some random discussions - mostly about dentists, Kryptonite (of course), and a clown that Zoe had witnessed unicycling down their street - somehow, they were then asked by their mom to demonstrate just how it is they freak with boys at their dances. (I suspect the inspiration was this video they'd found on YouTube of two guys enjoying the Bloodhound Gang's song Bad Touch a little too much...) I loved that they honestly tried, but they just couldn't find their groove, seeing as how they are sisters and all. I loved it even more that when they gave up, their mother recognized their unspoken confusion and suggested that one of them put something in their pants to simulate the adolescent woody that usually is part of the equation. I laughed even harder when she offered an empty film canister in place of an apple, as the canister was "more to scale." I practically died when she then corrected their simulated spanking move, to more accurately reflect the sex act it is intended to mimic. Good times were had by all. I have found that the greatest thing about your best friend having kids is that you end up with more best friends.

Anyway, we ended the evening around the computer watching some of their other YouTube favorites including the First semester Spanish Spanish love song and the William Tell Overature Mom. I was ultimately able to sneak out when it looked like they might actually start their studies. On the drive home, though I knew it was bad, I kept trying to correct the on my radio (thank you Daylight Savings). So today I am grateful for guardian angels. I'm pretty sure they're the only reason I didn't crash. And nieces, cuz, really, they're awesome. And for the freedom I have to visit them. Mostly, though, I am grateful for laughter so pure it makes you almost pee your pants.