Wednesday, November 21, 2007

home safe

I have found that blowing off NaBloPoMo is something like blowing a diet. Now that I have "lost" I'm just not all that motivated to come up with something just for the sake of posting. In fact, having just arrived home from San Diego at 1 am this morning, I'm not really motivated to do anything other than sleep. Having spent some time catching up on my regular blogs, however, I realized I'd better post at least a bit of an update or Merry ME will worry I did not make it home safely.

So after completing my last post I spent a couple hours on the beach with Grace while my sister got a pedicure. Grace loves the beach - running in and out of the freezing waves, grabbing shells and shell fragments and tossing them near our shoes, building and stomping on sand castles, making friends with any and every unsuspecting child that shows up in her general vicinity. Though I, too, love the beach, I found that making sure my niece wasn't lost to the waves at this particularly steep (and therefore dangerous) shore break was exhausting. Rewarding, sure, and precious, yes, but every moment was mildly terrifying.

After a quick shower for the sandy ones, the three of us made it to the Zoo by noon. The first thing we did was sit down to an overpriced calorie laden lunch. We laughed at how our father would so not approve. He would never condone resting without seeing a single animal and he would have lamented how much money we'd spent in so little time. He would have been proud, however, at how we snuck Grace in for free. Though she'll be four in January, she is the size of a normal two year old (just 30 pounds - more than 10 times her birth weight...). We didn't technically lie - we just omitted the truth. Very Catholic of us, I know. But we did coach her on lying about her age (we got her to agree to say, if asked, that she was 2, though she'd still hold up 3 fingers) and we asked her not to talk when we went through the gates (I cringed a little at the quote: "just like when Mommy's on her cell phone..." wondering how often Grace's spectacular gift for gab is stifled when I'm chatting it up with my sister...).

Anyway, we soon made our way out and about and trekked for five hours across the park. I know in my heart that the San Diego Zoo is a gold star in the industry but seeing it through my adult filter I was a bit conflicted and blue. The elephants, for example, are in line for a swanky new pad. But in the meanwhile they stand in a dusty busy intersection, pacing, bored. The male elephant was even reaching over the fence and tossing rocks at the crowd. The polar bears, as I expected, looked hot and dirty and, again, bored and so very caged. The gorillas and orangutans are in these groovy glassed in exhibits where they can choose to sit right up against the viewing wall but the looks on their faces are universally more vacant that I would expect from a primate in the wild. They seem jaded as I imagine I would be if viewed by throngs of people passing by each day.

There were highlights, of course, like the pandas on loan from China. And the hippo exhibit - the best. Again we were just separated by glass but these magnificent creatures cared only about each other, not their audience. They floated and fought and defecated all within inches of Grace's wide eyes. I loved when she squealed, "I touched it!" after one of the two swam right past our spot on the glass. We were apparently still on a schedule, however, as Suz rushed us away. I laughed (/complained) that here she was much like our Dad - keeping pace by walking ten feet ahead most of the time, always rushing to the next destination, never enjoying the moment.

Though we didn't have time for the guided bus tour (which would have been a welcome rest for our tired feet) we did brave the sky ride. Grace was scared to get on but had a blast once she was soaring above the Zoo. The grown ups had the reverse experience. We lamented that due to the hour and the distance that we'd have to board a second time to get back to the exit before closing. To reassure Grace (and myself) I explained that the periodic rumbling (of the tram passing through the series of wheels at the poles that kept it up) was just the sound of the ride farting. This little white lie then became a source of hilarity for me (and embarrassment for Suz) when Grace told Emily (a 2 year old who she'd befriended who left to take the bus) that we weren't going to the bus, we were taking "the farts."

I did notice, however, that unlike the day before, children were having meltdowns left and right. The Zoo is just more physically (and for me, emotionally) more demanding than Sea World, I guess. So it was little surprise that I had a meltdown of my own soon after leaving. I think I would have been fine but I was dragged off to dinner that I was too drained to survive. In contrast to the mojitos and tapas served to us in a private cabana the night before, we went to a crowded salad bar (as in line out the door) fairly far inland (through traffic) and we sat in a room full of school aged girls celebrating the end of their soccer season. I could handle the clapping and the trophies but once the whistles came out of the gift bags I had to flee. I waited in the car for another hour while my sister finished hanging out with her old friends. And by waited I mean I called my mom and nearly cried about how exhausted and trapped and sort of neglected I felt.

After finally getting a shower and some rest we spent one last morning at the beach. Grace put on her own suit - backwards so the bow could be on the front. Again we were rushed by my sister - this time out of the hotel. Though I'd secured us a late check out, Suz couldn't stand the tranquility of the beach and packed the car while we played in the waves. She then stood with the front door open (creating a wind tunnel) as I tried to dress for the day (hair wet from my final shower) and collect my belongings. We ended up leaving 45 minutes sooner than we had to. I'm not sure what the hurry was. Her flight out wasn't for seven more hours. Anyway, we then went, my small car filled to the brim with luggage, to kill time by shopping. We found our way to the border outlets (Mom would be proud) after a few wrong turns in San Ysidro (or, as I was calling it, Amerijuana). As we wrapped up our wandering, we paid homage to Dad by suggesting we "get out of this hell hole" and calculating how much money we spent in order to "save" that 10 or 20 or 30 %.

We shared some precious moments on the way to the airport. When left alone with Grace I snapped this priceless photo, proving once again that I should not be trusted with small children. I also initiated a game of eyeball licking (complete with a song, "I'm gonna lick your eyeball, eyeball...") that involved much face scratching (mine) and some involuntary retching (hers). I thought perhaps the teary eyes and gagging were from laughing too much, but when I was able to replicate the effect later at a calmer moment I wondered if it was my coffee breath? Erik has offered to lick my eyeballs to see if throwing up a little is just a natural biological response to have your optical orifice assaulted, but I don't trust him as he once gave me an eyelid hickey in college.

Anyhow, I left when they passed through security (Grace was spun - my hug goodbye consisted of much forehead pushing and some grimacing and growling) and I sat in only about a half hour of traffic. Thanks to caffeine and sugar and hours on my cell phone, I found my way home safely. I knew I'd be the sleepiest through my own dimly lit, deer filled county. I even considered crashing on a friend's couch but I really just wanted to be in my own bed. Today I am most definitely grateful that I did not encounter any wildlife in those wee hours. I know I was too loopy to respond correctly...

It's great to be back. Monkey looks bigger. OC is healthy. (BTW, we did fight a little about the vet bills but in a casual sort of sisterly way. I kept working it into conversation and she kept shooting me dirty looks. Then she finally asked if I was going to keep bringing it up forever and I said I'd drop it as soon as she paid me the two grand...) Erik is cuter than ever.

But for now it is back to bed with me.

Monday, November 19, 2007

mmm mojitos

So yesterday got away from me and I didn't make it to a place with internet access. Alas, I have failed NaBloPoMo. I pretty much figured that was a risk when planning this trip. At least it was just because we were too cheap to pay for internet at the hotel and not because we ruined the laptop when the vase / ice bucket fell over and soaked the works.

Though I am now a big loser, it was worth it. I had a great day with my sister and my niecelet celebrating Suz's birthday. We started with a breakast date (blackberry banana pancakes, papas locos, fruit bowl) followed by a walk around Mission Bay. We met a nice dog (Debit) and a friendly orange cat. Next we went to Sea World. As you can imagine, I have mixed feelings about Sea World (mostly just the Orcas), but I must say the shows were amazing. Grace in particular had the time of her life. The dolphins drenched us, despite our shared poncho, the dogs and cats were delightful (I now want to teach Monkey to climb across a rope upside down), and the sea lions were just silly. (For the record, I prefer the old 80's haunted castle show to today's submarine set, though the tricks are clearly the same...) Grace was brave and fed the sea lions little slimy fish through a feeding tube. It was priceless. Afterwards I noticed she swapped her half a soft pretzel for my uninfected half...

Anyway, afterwards we went out for tapas and mojitos. Grace slept through the whole thing, missing out on the delightful company of her cousins' Uncle Frankie and his boyfriend Josh. On the drive home she woke long enough to realize we'd left her tiny baby Orca at the restaurant. We performed a swift bit of stuffed marine mammal rescue and went home to go to bed.

Today is all about the zoo. Everyone's ready to go so we are out of here. Now that I've already failed I probly won't try too hard to post tomorrow but I'll be home Wednesday.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

napping overcomes wrath

This is my new motto - "napping overcomes wrath" - borrowed from the Tao of Cat glasses available at Common Goods, my favorite junk mail. After ditching my seal meeting I got 10 hours of sleep. I'm in the final stages of departure prep. OC's fed and medicated, Monkey's fed and needs to be scooped up after, Erik's loading the car, and then I just shower and go. I'm hoping since it is Saturday the drive will take the optimistic 5 and a half hours that Google estimates instead of the 8 and a quarter alternative (with traffic). I haven't driven to San Diego since college and then, I recall, I got sick on the Grapevine (fever, weird, huh?) and I had to get a hotel for the night. Of course, then I was coming from Berkeley (and bringing Fabe along) so it was just a super horrendous drive. So this will be a breeze, right? Right.

And I am also still hung up on my other favorite quote - "frustration and anger pays off in the end" - as that is how I found my iPod charging cord while packing last night.

Okay, as my dad would say, time to get a move on, sportsfans.

Friday, November 16, 2007

anti social

I'm currently ditching a seal meeting I usually enjoy. It's the Year in Review, a slide show held by the vet(s) explaining some of the year's more interesting cases and trends. Although I'd like to claim I'm ditching because I am behind on my packing, I'm actually down to the bits and pieces. And while I should be catching up on my sleep, as I've talked myself into a truly early departure, I'm wide awake. I could also say I'm staying home to spend more time with my hubby, but the truth is he was willing to go to my seal thing. So I'm left with only one reality. I am antisocial at my core.

Though I've known this for ages, Erik and I often refer to one specific night that perfectly captures my distaste for gatherings. We were living in Santa Cruz then, so I was waiting tables. My fellow food servers were having a Halloween party. I loved my coworkers (okay, most of my coworkers, some of them I hated...) and I even made brownies (just the normal kind, nothing herbal...) to bring as a favor. I had only a half assed costume, I remember, and that may have started the anxiety. Long story short, I drove to my friend's house and then around it, a few times, circling the block, until ultimately I was crying, with my brownies, because I didn't want to go. I followed my heart and went home and I'm sure I wasn't missed. I'm also sure I didn't miss much. But I learned a lot. For one thing, I am truly a neurotic freak. For another, it's best to have a stellar costume when going to a costume party. Finally, it's okay not to go.

And so now, when I have nights like tonight, I imagine myself driving around the block with my brownies, crying, and I spare myself the struggle. I just don't go. I'm not sure if a psychologist would think this was a grand solution, but I do. And most of my friends are used to my flake factor.

Anyway, other than my anxiety (which tonight is clearly being fed by my impending travels and by some more not newsworthy intragroup drama played out on the email battlefield...) I've had a fairly fine day. I watched my Netflix (by the way, Wendy, Wendigo was lame - was it meant to be lame? would it have been more scary if I weren't folding laundry half the time? I mean, I didn't even have to turn down the volume, ever, and there was very little blood shed, for a scary movie that is...).

I got some good seal news - the entangled girl from August is back. Still entangled, a bit deeper, of course, but well hydrated. Still hanging out on the same basically inaccessible dock. So perhaps we'll have another shot at catching her...

And OC caught and ate a bird. I don't know why, but I had Monkey watch OC eat it. He's always so fascinated with his uncle. I figured he might as well get to admire his victory. Afterwards Monkey touched the leftover feathers and shook his paw like he didn't like the feeling of sticky death. Then I felt I had subjected him to some sort of kitty child abuse.

Finally, I think I like the new hippie kitty litter. I do not feel overwhelmed with the smell of cat butt and this is good. It could just be that the whole contraption is fresh or that the fog spared me the heat of the day, but whatever.

Oh, and the Harry Potter Cockroach Clusters came. I haven't eaten one yet (to make sure they are nice and yucky but not poisoned) but they are here and they are glorious.

So tonight I am grateful for being true to myself, even if it's lame to be antisocial. And I am grateful for the opportunity to spend the weekend with my niece, even if I have to drive a ton to do it. And I am grateful to my vet, who wouldn't let me kill OC, cuz OC is so happy on his good hunting days.

Hopefully I'll be able to keep up the blogging in San Diego. My sis is bringing a lap top, so it's feasible. Who knows, I might even have something interesting to say?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

thank you, governator

Today Erik finally got his court ordered back pay for a raise that's been making its way through the legislature since April. It's a pretty significant bump and it wouldn't have been possible without the Governator's signature. Though I'm sure it was a rubber stamp sort of thing, today I am grateful for Arnie.

Even better, today the contractors finished installing the new stairs to our house. They even dismantled the steep and scary temporary steps. While I appreciate the safety features of the new entryway, mostly I'm excited that the construction might actually be over. Like soon. And I can have my deck back. And peace and quiet.

Best of all, today Erik took the day off to spend some extra time with me. We walked, we napped (okay, I napped, he tossed and turned - what can I say? I've got mad sleeping skills...), and soon we will watch movies and enjoy enchiladas... That is, if I ever start making them. I've been marinating the tofu for days trying to muster up the enthusiasm to actually cook it.

So again, I'll keep this brief. No lamenting about how the SF oil spill has finally found its way to my seals. No retelling of the funny story about Monkey's misstep into the toilet (the one where he turned unsuccessfully to the unfurling roll of toilet paper to save him...). No cursing the fact that I discovered an old friend will be in town for Christmas (when I am out of town). And no anxiety about my upcoming road trip.

Because today I have financial breathing room, impending privacy, and the pleasure of my husband's company. Hooray.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

lazy day

Today was unseasonably warm, a perfect excuse for a lazy day. Since the construction we've endured for the past six weeks is a major impediment to getting fresh air, it was sort of an uncomfortable lazy day. Too loud and too hot to sleep, too crowded to walk around half dressed. Monkey hid out in the bathroom. OC was wherever OC goes. Erik and I took turns either cruising the internet or trying to nap on the not sunny side of the couch.

Finally came sunset, blessed sunset. Erik and I watched the earth turn from the deck. OC rolled around in the sawdust while Monkey checked out the wildlife (under strict supervision, of course). He got particularly excited over a bee and a butterfly, but he really loves the hummingbirds. I love how the hummingbirds spend more energy chasing each other off than they do feeding. Until that magic moment where they realize it's getting dark and they decide to get along. I think that's why I like hummingbirds so much - they only share when they have to.

So tonight I am grateful for sunsets and fresh air and off shore winds. And for two kitties. And for the walk I'm about to take.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

midnight stroll

I realized I once again forgot my gratitude theme in Monday's entry. Well, it's pretty obvious I am grateful that I do not have to be a contestant on the Amazing Race.

But now I am grateful for something even more immediate. I am grateful that my little black Monkey did not wander too far out into the big black night after I foolishly forgot to close the kitchen window. Yup, my little man has seen the world and he likes it. This isn't the first time he's snuck out. It's just the first time he didn't have an adult in hot pursuit. I can't believe I forgot the window. We have this ritual - lock Monkey in one room, air out the rest of the house, close up the house, lock Monkey in the house, air out Monkey's room. It works like a charm. Except usually we do this in the daytime, when both of us are home. More brains for remembering windows and more eyes for keeping track of Monkey.

This time I did it sleepy and I left him unattended for at least 10 minutes while I showered, brushed my teeth, and got ready for bed. It took me a few more minutes to realize he was gone. It was too quiet. I looked for him under the bed. No sign. I was about to look for him in the couch (yes, in the couch, he climbs up and claws at my butt through the cushions). Then I saw the window. My heart stopped. I grabbed some shoes, cursing the fact that I never have a working flashlight.

He didn't come when I called but I heard him exploring. Or at least I thought I did. Turns out I was wrong cuz I actually found him on the opposite side of the yard, checking out this random tiny deck we have. He saw me and gave chase. I missed him as he passed by. He contemplated going under the house (I'd never get him there) but opted for going around the house instead. Then, miraculously, he came back around the corner and headed for the bushes. He always heads for the bushes. They're totally not thick enough to conceal him but I believe he may feel invisible just the same. He pauses there, front sticking out one side, butt sticking out the other, and then he gets caught. Thank goodness kittens are dumb.

Once inside he did a few laps around the living room and contemplated the trifecta. I even heard him crash full speed into the now closed window. He's calmer now, back in my lap like normal, but something's changed. Just a little. He's got more pride in his purr, more purpose in his stride. Really, I think we're both relieved his adventure is over. For now. But my little boy is growing up. And it's scary.

Monday, November 12, 2007

my own private hell

Today in the quest for family friendly television programming (and by family, I mean me and Erik, of course, cuz the cats don't really seem to care...) I tuned into last night's Amazing Race. I'm not exactly sure why I tape the Race because even watching it makes me tense. I can only imagine being a part of it. I guess that's my problem. I can't not imagine being a part of it. In my imagination I am forced to compete by Satan. Or perhaps, if I'm feeling particularly Catholic, maybe I'm just in purgatory atoning for my sins... Obviously I am NEVER eliminated. I spend my eternity hungry and dirty, constantly in airports, in a hurry, in a panic, often getting yelled at by someone I love. I'm almost certain I'm either dehydrated or frantically searching for a clean place to pee. And when I am not in a rush, I am bored and home sick. If the Amazing Race was fixed and I was somehow guaranteed that I would win, I still wouldn't participate. A million dollars is not enough money to force me to travel the world. At least not under those conditions. And not with today's exchange rate.

I must say, though, I laughed out loud when Nicolas commented that his grandfather's successful crossing of the muddy bog (in his underwear) proved "that frustration and anger pays off in the end."

Alternatively, I imagine I might spend eternity having my body pecked apart by the demonic reincarnations of the bazillion birds my cats have killed. Today I spared myself at least one attacker, however, as I discovered OC with his prey still intact. Monkey thought his uncle was pretty cool to bring a bird in the house. Then they both suffered the ultimate injustice of being restrained and detained while the bird went free. Monkey is currently expressing his lingering disappointment by playing a particularly vigorous version of a game we like to call "Bite and Kick." It's a game I used to play with Blackers but he would consistently bite my hand and kick my forearm. No matter how often I redirect him, Monkey ultimately kicks my hand and works his way up to the tender back side of my upper arm for better biting. Sometimes he even nips the neighboring boob. I know, I am creating a monster.

A monster who once again has graced the litter box with his presence while I sat here typing. So I guess I'm off to deal with that. Another version of my own private hell...

Sunday, November 11, 2007

the trifecta

Though I spent most of the last twelve hours sticking needles in to sea lions, the highlight of my day was definitely watching Monkey complete his trifecta. He's obviously been planning it for weeks. The first step was dominating the big screen TV. It's old school and boxy so the surface area on top has been irresistible to him. My attempts to restrict his access proved fruitless so I finally removed all things breakable from my favorite clutter zone and surrendered it to the kitten. Though the TV was fascinating before, once Monkey was allowed on it, he decided to jump from the TV to the top of the pie safe. That's fine, I figure. Nothing up there to disturb and I found he would still land fairly lightly on my beloved TV. The pie safe proved to be only a pit stop, however, as Monkey soon decided to jump from it across the doorway and onto our slanted stove hood. His first attempt happened early in the morning so I only heard it. The bending of metal, the scraping of claws, the mew of exploration. Erik promptly rescued the stranded explorer and I thought little of it. A couple days later I found Monkey there again and had to coax him down myself. This morning I finally saw it happen and I'm even more amazed he can pull it off as his front paws land way lower than I might expect. Anyway, today he had no interest in rescue. He had a plan. He jumped from his slanted perch all the way across the kitchen to the top of the fridge. Pie safe, stove hood, refrigerator. Trifecta. He was so proud.

I couldn't stick around to celebrate long, however, as Spooner, yesterday's sea lion from our south county, needed more pain meds. He was so flat yesterday that he was rescued with a towel - no net. This is unheard of, really. Unfortunately, he never got much perkier. In addition to the wounds on his flipper (a shark, we'd guess) he had a throat full of brown slobber (so probly also suffering domoic acid toxicity). Even though he was needy and kinda sad, I'm glad we kept him overnight as we are much better equipped to give round the clock care than our neighbors to the north.

If we had decided to ship Spooner yesterday, we probly would've aborted the plan immediately. We got the call on this fellow right as Spooner would've hit the road. As I mentioned yesterday, this sea lion's call (like Spooner's) sat with the answering service for three hours before it made its way to us. Thus we named him Three Hour. He was a little too crazy fresh off the beach to do much last night, but we did give him some of the good drugs later on to help him sleep. And today we got some fluids in to him. He never did fully seize but he had the bobbing head, seizy eyes, and trembling so he got some more good drugs for the road.

Then, ironically, we had to wait nearly 3 hours before we could ship them off today. The gal I had lined up to do the transport got tied up at church. It turned out to be a good thing, however, as both Spooner and Three Hour looked the most seizy just before they shipped. I was glad we were able to treat the convulsions they might have otherwise had on the road. I was pretty happy to see them go, though, cuz it meant I could finally get on with the scrubbing and mopping and ultimately find my way to a shower and a nap. I forced myself to get out of bed to post this blog (and to not destroy my sort of morningish post LSAT lifestyle) but soon I will snooze again.

So today I am thankful for my folks cuz today they bought me a plane ticket to go visit them for Christmas. (Wendy, I'll be there late the 19th, leaving early the 28th - let me know if you can play any time in between?...)

And I'm grateful for fuzzy socks. I usually only wear mine when I've been lax on the laundry, but whatever, they're super cozy.

And I'm grateful for help. The last time I had seals I had to do all the clean up alone and it really sucked. Life is so much better when you've got people on your team.

And I'm super grateful for OC's health. As of yesterday he's gone six weeks without incident. He's been around a bunch everyday (mostly in his bachelor pad half of the house) but this morning he hung out on the couch with me. He even had bore witness to the trifecta. (He seemed unimpressed.) And he grabbed my head and bit it, but I think it was a display of affection?

Ugh. And I'm grateful that now that I am done with this post I can scoop Monkey's stinking litter box. I really think this new litter (Arm & Hammer) is extra lame at stench control. I do like the lemony scent it gives off while scooping, but seriously, who wants to smell anything while scooping? Anyway, it's been so bad that I've tricked myself into buying the most expensive litter (World's Best? it's made of corn or something...) to try next. I'm almost wondering if I scoop too often? If I'm always stirring it up, so to speak. But I don't think twice a day is extreme (generous, but not obsessive) and it seems counterintuitive to suggest that a dirty box might smell less...

So on with it, I guess.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

strangers with candy

It went against my better judgment, but today I bought candy from strangers. Specifically, I bought those cool out of stock Harry Potter Cockroach Clusters from a woman on eBay. I'm extra suspicious cuz I paid less than the candy sites were asking. I wasn't suspicious enough not to buy out her entire supply, however. Gummy crunchy (probly stale, hopefully not poisoned) candy bugs, here I come.

Anyway, then I got some actual seal action today. Both of my sea lions had to wait patiently on their beaches for over three hours before I got the messages that they were there. I was shocked to find them still around, all lethargic and tucked and easily captured. I won't have pictures until tomorrow (in fact, I'm already in a hurry to get back to the one who needs late night meds) but the first one, Spooner, has a puncture wound on his right front flipper. The second one, Three Hour, is just goofy and drooly and probly bound to seize.

It shouldn't surprise me, that I got some action, but we have been really reallly slow for a couple of months now. Other than a few exceptions, I've been the only person to get any activity in that time. Not that I am complaining, of course. The seals are what I'm in this for. But I still think it's funny. I scaled back my dates and still dominated the rescue scene. Lucky me.

Thanks to Spooner I will be up again very early to give him more pain meds. Just the thought of it is making me sleepy.

But in the meanwhile, tonight I am thankful for meds. How cool is that that we can make animals (including ourselves) more comfortable? That we can conquer infections and control seizures? Awesome, I say.

And I am thankful for naps, even though I missed mine today.

And for pizza delivery, cuz that's just what Erik needed. Poor neglected undernourished husband.

Friday, November 09, 2007

it's beginning to feel a lot like christmas

Okay, I still haven't bought my plane ticket, but I have decided I will be going to see the family for Christmas. I realize that caving in early destroys any imaginary negotiating advantage I might have had with my sister, but it also removes my temptation to ruin her birthday by fighting about money. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have won anyway. And really, it will be quite fun to see my nieces enjoying Christmas.

Since I'll be there, I will have to come prepared - you know, with gifts and all. I'm not much of a gift giver. I tend to avoid holidays and birthdays as I dread obligatory spending. I also sort of suck at it. With me it's feast or famine. I send nothing or I spend too much (money I obviously don't have) on stuff the kids don't really like. (Yes, sister-in-law who has no internet access, I know that the Dora Castle I bought this Spring has already been "donated" to Grandma's house and I know the girls were never allowed access to the craft scissors I sent last year...) Having wasted too much of my day surfing the web, I have decided on just the right thing. I absolutely have to get the girls this novelty soap. Yep, that would be soap that looks just like dog poop. Would they expect anything less from me? I just can't decide if this toilet / plunger candy is also fun or just sort of fun? And can I tell you how sad I am that these candy cockroaches are out of stock? I know, don't you wish you had an Anti like me?

Anyway, when I get back I will be attending an underground after Christmas party. (Oh the drama there. I mostly shy away from mentioning specifics since, well, it's totally unprofessional and what is there to gain? But this year to celebrate the holidays my volunteer group has decided to hold an expensive event instead of our traditional potluck. And by group, I mean staff person, cuz the topic was never open to debate and all input to the contrary has been summarily shot down. So those of us who can't (or don't want to) afford it have decided to gather surreptitiously for a private party. I'm pretty sure we'll get in trouble, but, seriously, I think it is tacky to ask for our money on top of our time. And the tragedy is that it's mostly the hardcore old timers who object. I know some of that is fear of change, but if it's not broken, why fix it?) Since we've decided we'll still play the gift exchange game, I will now have to add these mints that taste like bacon to my already purchased item (this groovy sea lion pen). The old timers, you see, are way fond of bacon.

I actually sort of wish I could say more about the drama. Very few of my rescue friends know of my blog. Even fewer of them read it. And we're all fairly like minded about the politics anyhow. I just don't know if it would be cathartic for me to express my angst or if it would only add fuel to the fire? In truth, I think I would come off sounding quite whiny. But maybe that would be good for me - to see how petty all the scandals are when translated to the real world. I guess a certain level of discord is inevitable, especially in an estrogen dominated environment. (No offense, ladies, but you know it is true...) Mostly I am really disappointed in how entrenched in it I can become. I like to think of myself as fairly easy-going but I fear I might be a bitch. Or, as I was dubbed in April, "not a nice girl."

Oh well.

Oh. So what am I grateful for today? Hm. I am grateful that OC and Monkey hung out with me on the couch this afternoon. There was very little hissing and even less swatting involved. I used it as an excuse to skip my evening walk (didn't want to break up the magic) so that's kind of a bummer, but it was worth it. I love family time.

And I am grateful that (so far) we haven't had to rescue any oiled mammals in San Francisco, but I'm still pretty pissed about the poor birds. And the poor media coverage.

And I'm grateful for clean sheets. I don't know why I don't change ours more often. (Wait, I do know. It sucks to make the bed. It's practically an aerobic exercise. And with our opposite schedules, someone's almost always sleeping anyway...) Anyway, they're clean now and I'm so looking forward to trying them out.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

losers

Tonight I'm feeling sort of weepy. It could be PMS, but I'm thinking it's more about the fate of the shorebirds who make their living in the San Francisco Bay. You know, the ones who are now oil-covered and dead. I don't know if I'm more upset with the ship that hit the Bay Bridge or the Coast Guard who trusted their initial reports. Apparently, the crew estimated they'd spilled only 140 gallons of fuel. Twelve hours passed before the Coast Guard realized this estimate was off by, oh, I don't know, about 58,000 gallons. Of course it was dark then, so another 12 hours passed before anyone started containing the oil that is poisoning the wildlife.

The pictures are haunting. I even recognize some of the people in them - staffers with The Marine Mammal Center, picking up birds from the beach right down the hill from the hospital. I can't see them without seeing myself. Though I haven't yet made the time to attend official Oiled Wildlife Training, as a volunteer with TMMC, I would be called upon to do the same thing if we had a spill down here. Except we'd be scooping up a lot of dead otters, too. And it won't stop at birds. My heart aches for the sexy male sea lions who gather at Pier 39 and for those extraordinary Bay Area red-pelaged harbor seals.

Then I called my folks. All they knew was that the Bridge was okay. Great job, America's media, getting to the heart of the story. Maybe tomorrow they will mention how the Coast Guard failed to drug test the boat's crew for 24 hours. Maybe then they'll let you know how San Francisco's mayor is chomping at the bit ready to sue whoever is responsible for this.

My uncle might be right. I might have to be an environmental lawyer, after all.

So tonight I am grateful that I am not a shorebird. And I'm grateful I haven't had to work an oil spill myself. And I'm grateful there's a bottle of wine in the kitchen. I'm thinking it's time to open it.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

still tickled

Obsessed with my potential sister drama, I failed to give you the scoop on my last day in Oakland. As I alluded to before, it was mostly uneventful. Though the family spent the day at school and/or work, I was implored to stick around in order to spend some time with the girls after class. I checked my email. I surfed the web. I downloaded marine mammal ringtones I can't get in my third world county. (No VCast available here, though Verizon will happily bill me for the service if I forget to cancel before my free trial expires...) I watched my soap opera. I finished reading the Lord of the Flies. (I know, strange that I've never read it, eh? Actually there are so many books I feel I've missed. I really should've been an English major. My GPA would be higher, I know that. Anyway, thanks to a tiff between the English teachers at my jr. and sr. high, I have read the Scarlet Letter twice. That should count for something?). Then I tried to nap but I found I'd had to much coffee.

Ultimately the girls got home. Their mom was still at work and their dad was doing errands, so under my supervision they pretended to do homework while making phone calls and sending text messages. There was much snacking and some mild gossiping.

While Zoe created a CD (this generation's version of the mix tape) for her boyfriend, I finally let Sadie cut my hair. Since I knew I was driving home, I couldn't turn to the cheap wine for comfort. As a result, Miss Sadie had to put up with a lot of whining. Mostly I complained that the scissors selected would be lucky to cut paper. In fact, much of the initial work was performed by something more akin to tearing than snipping. Luckily, a slightly better pair of scissors was uncovered after my repeated protests. I then demanded she choose between texting and trimming, as she was constantly putting down the scissors to pick up her cell. She tried to get me to text for her by proxy (I believe the exact message I was asked to send was, "So who do you sort of like?") but then she realized how lame I am at texting and she let me off the hook. Next we clashed over style - the techniques she's applied to her own luxurious locks just don't work on puny hair. At least she didn't try to do anything super creative (clearly I had broken her spirit) so in the end, it actually looks pretty good, I think. Still, I have cured Sadie of any desire to cut my hair in the future.

Finally their mom came home. After some random discussions - mostly about dentists, Kryptonite (of course), and a clown that Zoe had witnessed unicycling down their street - somehow, they were then asked by their mom to demonstrate just how it is they freak with boys at their dances. (I suspect the inspiration was this video they'd found on YouTube of two guys enjoying the Bloodhound Gang's song Bad Touch a little too much...) I loved that they honestly tried, but they just couldn't find their groove, seeing as how they are sisters and all. I loved it even more that when they gave up, their mother recognized their unspoken confusion and suggested that one of them put something in their pants to simulate the adolescent woody that usually is part of the equation. I laughed even harder when she offered an empty film canister in place of an apple, as the canister was "more to scale." I practically died when she then corrected their simulated spanking move, to more accurately reflect the sex act it is intended to mimic. Good times were had by all. I have found that the greatest thing about your best friend having kids is that you end up with more best friends.

Anyway, we ended the evening around the computer watching some of their other YouTube favorites including the First semester Spanish Spanish love song and the William Tell Overature Mom. I was ultimately able to sneak out when it looked like they might actually start their studies. On the drive home, though I knew it was bad, I kept trying to correct the on my radio (thank you Daylight Savings). So today I am grateful for guardian angels. I'm pretty sure they're the only reason I didn't crash. And nieces, cuz, really, they're awesome. And for the freedom I have to visit them. Mostly, though, I am grateful for laughter so pure it makes you almost pee your pants.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

the plot thickens

So my next scheduled road trip is south to see my sister. It's her birthday and she decided to spend it in San Diego. With me. And, of course, her daughter Grace. (Formerly known as Baby G, now that she is potty trained and has a real bed and an extended vocabulary and even hair she is quite insistent that she is a big girl...) Anyway, I'm very much looking forward to it though I am always reminded when returning from the road just how much of a homebody I really am. I love just being home. Doing nothing. Seeing kitties. Taking naps.

Anyway, while talking to my sister (and Grace, who still sometimes just nods while on the phone) about our pending plans, I have once again been invited to come play Anti to the Rescue. This time she'd like me to be up the week after Christmas. The thing is, my parents have invited me for the week before Christmas. Sounds great, eh? I've got no job. I could stay for both weeks, right? But my husband has Christmas and Christmas Eve off. He never has Christmas off. It's not like we do anything - we don't really decorate (though we've been using Christmas lights to illuminate our bedroom since last year), we don't exchange gifts, we don't make a token appearance at church, we don't even cook a turkey or a ham - but it seems like I shouldn't abandon him with cat care duties during the holiday.

And then, for those who have been following the plot closely, there's the whole empty promises made over fondue issue that lurks between me and my sister. While I've worked really hard to let it go, I'm still a little bitter that I was duped into taking on a cat I can't afford. (He is still doing great, by the way, which is way awesome.) Thing is, if I'm honest and seek to negotiate some sort of financial settlement I know it will ruin her birthday weekend. I really don't want to drive all the way to San Diego just to fight with my sister. But if I ditch my husband for my sister without standing up for myself (and essentially my husband, who has to pay OC's butt related bills), I'll be a big weenie. And as Dr. Phil is fond of saying, you teach people how to treat you and I really don't want to be endorsing my status as sister / doormat.

On the other hand, Grace is super fun and we'd have a groovy time hanging out together. And Suzanne wouldn't actually be out of town (just working nights) so I'm not even certain I'd have to do the whole live in the animal house thing. I guess I'll play it by ear.

In the meanwhile, I still owe you the low down of my last couple days visiting my other nieces. But for now I have a burrito waiting in the kitchen and a litter box to scoop.

I've noticed I've sort of abandoned my gratitude theme (which turned out to be so not original anyway), so tonight I am grateful for dishwashers. Random, I know, but really, I can still remember life before my dishwasher and things are so much easier now.

Monday, November 05, 2007

on the road again

Though I was alone with internet access all day I didn't have anything new to report. Now that I made it home to my sleepy beach town (and sleepier husband), I'm more interested in him than you. Sorry. The truth hurts.

So as I used to say in elementary school - Longer Letter Later or Sorry So Short.

Tomorrow. I promise.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

horsing around

So I spent the day out in the country with horses. Although I'm fairly comfortable working with 200 pound wild pinnipeds, I find horses frightening. My sister-in-law / best friend, however, loves horses and since she has a full time job, weekends are her riding time. Far be it from me to stand between a woman and her passion.

I only had one true horse incident. I was trusted with the most compliant of her three horses, Tuffy, and was asked to release him in the round pen so he could roll around. Well, I released him near the pen, not exactly in it. It was no surprise to anyone when he ran away. Thankfully Sadie was nearby to bail me out and redirect the old boy.

Other than that, I'd say it was a great day. A little too much sun and sugar, but plenty of juicy teenage gossip. Unfortunately I am sworn to secrecy. I am being tested. If I can be trusted with the details of last night's party I will be rewarded with more information in the future.

In a moment of weakness, however, I sort of agreed to let Sadie cut my hair tonight. This is something she and her sister have been begging to do for ages. In fact, Zoe, who's on the road for softball, will be seriously jealous that Sadie had first shot. Anyway, I figure my hair is already pathetic. How much worse could it get? As long as I can pull it into a ponytail (my staple look), I'll survive.

This does mean, though, that I'll likely need to drink the rest of that cheap wine to soldier through it. That kills any possibility of driving home tonight (which I always consider and often reject) which means a night spent camping on the floor. Which requires, of course, more wine. You can see the vicious cycle, eh?

In any event, it has been, as usual, a pleasure to reconnect to the girls in my life. I sure hope I don't get Alzheimer's so that I'll have a prayer of savoring these memories for years to come...

Saturday, November 03, 2007

at home away from home

They say the road to a friend's house is never long. It can be, however, crowded and torturous, particularly with a full bladder. I left yesterday almost a full hour later than I'd planned and paid the price by spending nearly another whole hour sitting in Bay Area traffic. What's worse, because I was coming into town, my niece and her mom had to suffer traffic themselves in order to come home and meet me when they might have otherwise gone out to see a movie. But I'm not complaining. I made it here safely on my fine bouncy new tires. No sooner did I get my stuff settled in then I ordered up some temptation (a bottle of two buck chuck) from Trader Joe's. Allegedly there's also pizza and carrot cake on the grocery list so I have a feeling my diet is slightly doomed this weekend. And by diet, of course I mean "life long plan for eating healthfully" for I know better than to believe in short term crash diets.

Yes, invisible internet friends, I have been eating healthfully behind your backs for more than a week now. It feels great. I'm still not wearing my wedding ring (but then again I never bring it to the ghetto) but I'm starting to notice a pleasant downward trend in my overall size. I know I can do it (return to a normal size) because I did it six years ago. I just don't exactly know why I undid it. I used to say it was stress from my promotion but that doesn't explain why I kept gaining after quitting my job. Oh wait, then there was the stress from the year of fighting cancer. And many therapy sessions involving gelato. But the year after that? I have no excuse... (Other than September and the whole cat death / LSAT thing...) I think I do know why I've been dragging my feet getting back to it, though. My 20th high school reunion is in 1 1/2 years. Figuring it takes about a year to lose the weight, by starting late there is almost no way I can be gigantic by then even if I have issues with maintenance. Sick, I know. But pragmatic, eh?

Anyway, in terms of gratitude, today I am grateful that my nieces still love me even though they have already hit puberty. I love their stories, their fashion advice, their generosity of spirit. Even as I savor their dwindling innocence, I look forward to knowing them as adults. What a gift a niece is...

I'm also grateful for warm showers and hot tea.

Another great thing about my home away from home (besides the family in it)? Real life city access to things like good food and free ringtones. I have finally downloaded the marine mammal center sound effects I've been craving for months. I faced so many barriers - at first it was my phone (wrong model), then my carrier (darned Verizon), and ultimately my county (no service). Now the stars have finally aligned.

And, of course, I am grateful for my best friend, now sister-in-law. My constant cheerleader who never has enough room in her life to get mad at me. She's off riding her horses now, a passion I fully support especially as I know it helped her get through her cancer. Tonight the niecelet's off to a party (gotta squeeze them in between softball seasons, I'm told) so it will be girls' night for us. At our age I'm sure that means something wild like staying up until oh, ten or eleven or so. I'm so looking forward to it.


And again I am grateful for my husband who has by now most likely had to scoop Monkey's litterbox.

Friday, November 02, 2007

dia de los gatitos muertos

All night I've been resisting the temptation to shamelessly copy MerryMe's recent blog entry about All Saint's Day. To make matters worse, today is dia de los muertos, the Mexican version of the same holiday, which I personally think is oh so much cooler cuz of all the papier mache skeletons you can buy. Still I held back. I learned that imitation is not always flattery way back in the 8th grade when I was shunned by my former best friend for buying a pair of go go boots shortly after she did. But then I realized that today is also the 2 month sadiversary of the passing of my squished kitty, Blackers and so I have an actual bonafide reason to be celebrating my dead.

I'm not sure I'm doing lists this year, and he was only 3 years old so that's not much of a list, but in cat years that's like 21, right? So here are 21 reasons I loved Blackers:
  1. Blackers was a good hunter. He often brought me dead things, including a gopher, a mouse, and half of a black bird scattered around my bathroom.
  2. Blackers had a great singing voice. I couldn't help but smile when he sang to the birds at the feeders. The big birds got him most excited.
  3. Blackers was wicked. He always drew blood when he'd bite my arm and kick my legs - a ritual we practiced everyday.
  4. Unfortunately, he was also wicked to other cats, particularly O.C. I didn't blame him (though I did squirt him). I knew it was just in his nature.
  5. Having grown up in Kuwait City, Blackers spoke Farci. He totally responded when our Palestinian neighbor spoke to him in his native tongue.
  6. Blackers was stealthy. I could tell he enjoyed popping out of the darkness and pouncing on my freshly showered legs.
  7. Blackers never made me worry. He was always at home and he would never let a stranger abduct him.
  8. Blackers made me proud, being super tough at the vet. He even bent the needle when he was in for a routine vaccination.
  9. Blackers was also brave, particularly when he had to sit in the tree for an hour while our evil neighbor weed whacked his yard and refused to put his ever barking dogs inside.
  10. Blackers learned from his mistakes. I never saw him in the dog yard again.
  11. Blackers was athletic. He often ran up trees just to see if he could.
  12. He was also vain. He'd often test his waist line but seeing if he could still fit in the crack between the garage and the neighboring shed.
  13. Blackers had expensive taste in food. He accepted only the best.
  14. Blackers was dense, bigger than he looked, and that boy was ripped. We think it's cuz he was neutered late but it's also due to his breed.
  15. Blackers was shiny. He had this great short coat that just glistened in the sun.
  16. As my Aunt Fran once told her son, my cuzen Bob, Blackers was handsome but not particularly photogenic.
  17. Blackers was determined. He really didn't care about the Super Soaker peace maker. He wouldn't leave the house until he decided the fight was over.
  18. He also refused to be caged. He once escaped out the kitchen window when he was trapped inside for the cat sitter.
  19. He kept his bladder to himself. This is rather unusual for a cat.
  20. He did, however, love to scratch the couches. But now I'm sort of glad as I have something to remember him by.
  21. Finally, he went quickly, hopefully without any suffering. We're calling him our James Dean of cats - living large, dying young, being unbearably handsome the whole time. Like James Dean, the loss of Blackers is a tragedy, but like the actor, my cat was a treasure who will now become a legend...
And, of course, in terms of my on line gratitude journal, today I am grateful for kitties. Especially Pepper and Frisbee, Fabian and Blackers, and O.C. and Monkey.

I am also grateful for photographs, which help me remember my kitties. I only wish I had more and better pictures.

And I am grateful for the bouncy new tires on my old truck as they will take me safely to Oakland to visit the eldest nieces. I've got to leave right away or I'll have to wait hours to miss the traffic, so ta for now...

Thursday, November 01, 2007

time flies when you're uninspired

With only 4 and a half hours left in the first day of November and no sign of my muse, it's pretty clear I'll have to resort to a theme to make it through NaBloPoMo. Since I never took Oprah's advice to keep a gratitude journal, I'm thinking the internet is as good a place as any. And November's all about the thanks giving, eh? Sure, sounds good to me. It's almost like I put some thought into it, isn't it?

So today I am grateful for my chiropractor. I know I've said it before, so I'm wondering if this doesn't count? But really, she does fine things for my torqued torso and today in particular she got my neck to release on the one side where it never lets go.

And of course I am grateful for my husband. Without his income and insurance I would never have found my chiropractic haven. The poor guy worked a double shift last night and is currently sneaking in two hours of sleep before he's due back. I hate watching him do overtimes, but we have been living off fumes for the past few months, so I'm extra grateful he's digging in and spending extra time at the loony bin.

For that matter, I am grateful that I did not talk myself into buying an HD Tivo today. It was closer than it should've been. I was weak after spending two solid hours of my morning trying to get my current Tivo and my new cable box to make friends. Only after calling a tech (twice - first time I got disconnected after ten minutes on hold) did I discover that I've got a bit of a Sophie's choice on my hands - either Tivo can watch Showtime or we can watch it live, but we can't have both unless we have HD. To add pressure, as an old school Tivo subscriber, I could transfer my lifetime subscription to this new imaginary HD Tivo for a mere $200 (suspiciously, this is the same amount my original lifetime subscription actually cost...) but the offer ends on November 8th. Bastards.

Anyway, since I'm also grateful OC is still okay. He was "condition suspect" for a few days there but he really seems to look fine. I was a wee bit worried that Halloween lockdown would have unintended intestinal consequences but so far no sign. He was even being exceptionally cute today. He chased me all the way down to my car as I was trying to leave for the chiropractor. I thought it was love but when I got home I saw his food bowl was empty. Yep, he was giving me love for food. He knows the drill.

And now I am grateful I have finished one of my thirty posts. I don't know why I'm so tired (hmm? watching movies till 3 and waking up kitty style at 6 am?) but I've really got to head to bed.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

it's my blogiversary

Today marks my blog's first birthday - my blogiversary? my blorthday? Google tells me that in this year of blogging madness I have posted a mere 109 times. According to my computer's calculator, that's an average of about twice a week. (You know, god forbid I do math on paper or in my head anymore. As Barbie says, "Math is hard." Although apparently she only said, "Math class is tough," and, to be fair, that could be due to a bad teacher...) Anyway, when you factor in the reason I started blogging (NaBloPoMo) and the streak of 30 consecutive posts that followed, my average is even less impressive. Since this is in a sense a new year, I suppose I should make a resolution to improve this statistic. As I've already signed back up for NaBloPoMo, I guess I can at least promise you November. And this won't be easy folks, as I am on the road for at least 8 of these 30 days (first to see the eldest nieces, then to see the youngest).

To make matters worse, my life is agonizingly ordinary in the absence of seal rescues. Not only is winter the slow season, but I've also scaled back on my scheduled days. At first I was on hiatus to study for the LSAT, but during that break I realized Erik was right. He pointed out that I had found a way to make something fun into something more like a job... So now I'm only on as much as the next person (instead of twice that often) and so far I don't regret it. There is some reason to believe we may see another slew of northern fur seal pups this year, though, in which case I will seethe with jealousy whenever I miss seeing one. But I can always add myself later...

While it's tough on the blogging, I'm actually really grateful my life is boring these days. In particular, this means that OC is in good health. Since making drastic dietary changes, he's beaten his average stretch (3 weeks between enemas) and he seems super happy. Except tonight, of course, as he's been quite upset at being locked up for Halloween. Luckily I got to sneak out at the height of his protests. I left to see Saw IV, leaving Erik here to deal with the kitties. (BTW, I wasn't expecting much of Saw IV, but I must say it was my favorite so far. I may even go see it again or at least rent it when it makes its way to Netflix...) Anyway, I was delighted to return to sleeping kitties and a well lit house. I even made it home before Erik left for work so I could be absolutely certain that no one wearing a pig mask was lurking in my closet. I'm so not freaked out, in fact, I think I may watch Hostel 2 before bed. Seems fitting for the holiday, and Erik hates to watch scary movies with me so I have to squeeze them in while he's at work.

Well, better post now or it will be November already. Yikes.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

worth waiting for

I agree. Twelve days without posting is simply not acceptable. I did plan to post on my birthday, but it turns out Wendy and her mom did it for me. (And oh so well they did it... I am still tickled pink...) I've even seen a sea lion or two in the meanwhile (only rescued one, and really I was more of a bystander, but still...) unfortunately I haven't yet uploaded the pictures. In fact, I have started any number of posts but since there was only one thought in my head (I want my score), nothing seemed worthy of being published.

But now, now my dear internet friends, I can relax. Indeed, scores are in, a few days early as predicted. And let's just say I opened the bubbly, not the oversized cheap wine (which I bought at Costco more for the blue bottle than for its contents...) for I have seen my score and I am happy.

What does happy mean? Happy means my brother has to give me this cute ipod holding thing called a Howdy (I get the Howd-oui) which I have been bugging him about ever since he told me he was buying it for himself. He finally agreed he'd give it to me if I beat my average practice test score. Otherwise he challenged me to steal it (from two states away, I had no fear I would succeed). Isn't he sweet? Mostly, though, he told me to get a job and buy one, cuz as my mom is fond of saying, people my age have jobs...

Anyway, happy also means I've scored high enough I may get fee waivers when I finally do apply (next fall for school in 2009). Happy also means I may get offered money to go to a lesser school but happy means I may very well have the opportunity to explore my intellectual vanity (at my own expense) perhaps even in the ivy league. So happiness means I may be living in snow? Happiness is a very confusing thing.

I'm hoping happy means I'll get into Boalt (which is now, apparently UC Berkeley School of Law) and the internet seems to think I have about a 60% - 70% chance just based on my numbers... Of course, the internet also thinks I am of average height, and I'm sorry to tell you internet, but 5'4" is short...

Most of all, happy means I really have to get off my ass and start exercising, cuz there's no way in hell I'm taking all this extra me to law school. In the process of studying for and stressing over the exam while burying (okay, burning) my dead cat and fretting over my orange one (who is doing great, by the way, 3 weeks out - he's beat his average, too, and he so totally passed his butt inspection this morning), I have now become the biggest me I've ever been. Seriously. I am scary big. I'm so scary big that at certain times of the day I can't even get my wedding ring off. Not that I have to get it off, mind you, but it's disturbing that I can't. It's one thing to break down and buy new fat jeans, but it's simply not acceptable to have to resize your rings to keep up with your gluttony... And I love that ring. And so I know I will lose weight. Cuz I just can't leave my shiny little rainbow maker alone in a drawer...

So what does happy look like on paper? Well, at the risk of being mocked like you tube girl by people who are active on a certain forum I sometimes visit, happy looks like a 176 (out of 180) - the 99.6th percentile. And believe me, I am happy, but happier would be if I hadn't missed that one question in the puzzles section (I never miss any in the puzzles section) and if I hadn't been tricked by that darned unicorn / centaur parallel question (stupid parallel questions - I had time left over, I really should've triple checked my choice). Of course, I quite deservedly missed the other 3 questions and thus I would've never tasted perfection, but, hey, even Mary Poppins is only "practically perfect." That's good enough for me.

Anyway, happy also looks like I'd better get moving and start cleaning my house cuz Erik and I have invited people over for a bbq this afternoon. Sure, the sun is not yet up but it will be soon and I have not done anything around here for about 2 months...

So apologies again for the long wait, but believe me when I say I was unbearable. And I'll make it up to you in November, for NaBloPoMo when you'll get so sick of me you'll stay away for 12 days.

Oh, and in case you are wondering, I almost couldn't handle Drew Carey hosting The Price is Right, but Madisyn, my little niecelet, encouraged me (vicariously, through a quote in a text message) to give him another chance. He's still on probation and, of course, he'll never be Bob, but I do appreciate that even though he clearly does not know how to play the games, he is willing to openly mock the contestants when they do something dumb.

And, as a public service announcement, you can enjoy pomegranate margaritas for breakfast as long as you drink them with a hearty omelet and have time to sleep the entire day away later. Much better than Apple Jacks and white wine and far kinder than Froot Loops and prefab margaritas... This is how I passed the day Thursday when I knew the scores would not be in, but I really could think of nothing else.

Monday, October 08, 2007

37 things I love about my husband

I remember the first day I met Erik. It was August, first semester of my junior year at college. I was coming home from school on my little red ten speed - tearing downhill through my ghetto neighborhood, not really in control, trusting my life to my luck and an ill-fitting styrofoam helmet. As I passed through the final blind intersection in my path, I heard a voice call my name. It was Sean, my neighbor and my best friend's boyfriend, sitting on their porch with someone I instinctively knew was his brother. It's not that they looked a lot alike. Unlike my family where there are clearly just two molds, Erik's siblings are each a distinct blend of their parents' features. It was more that they were sitting like family - closer than acquaintances might, but with a sort of awkwardness between them that indicated they weren't exactly friends.

I stopped across the street, but refused to get off my bike. It was a struggle to mount and dismount the darned thing and though it was only a few houses away, I really didn't want to have to walk my bike home. After a few minutes of casual chatting / shouting (chouting?), I told them I'd drop off my things and be right back. My momentum gone, getting started was actually a more difficult feat than I'd like to admit. I felt like such a dork trying to align the pedals just so and pushing off from the curb. Once home I hurriedly changed into an outfit I liked (that I later learned Erik hated, an A frame sleeveless frock we now affectionately refer to as the "pear dress") and I tucked a half-smoked joint behind my ear. (Funny enough, I'd quite uncharacteristically brought that joint to school in the morning intending to make a friend - to spark up a conversation, you might say. I abandoned my mission by mid-afternoon and found a quiet place to entertain myself. Little did I know I would make a friend that day - just not on campus...)

That evening Sean took me and Erik out to dinner. Our first date, technically. We still laugh when we recall how I unwittingly sat on a brown bag of neglected figs in the backseat of their car. We laugh mostly because this wouldn't be the last time we encountered abandoned fruit in their car... On the other hand, it was quite strange that we ended up in some anonymous greasy spoon that night, as Sean and Jules have introduced me to countless fabulous restaurants and never, other than this one time, have we dined somewhere so ordinary. Somehow, though, it was just right, the three of us crammed into a booth, making small talk over bland mashed potatoes. Deliciously awkward.

The next day I suggested Erik should sleep on my couch instead of their floor. The dogs had chewed up the guest mattress, after all, and I had a creepy landlord whose unwelcome visits were deterred by Erik's presence... And the rest, as they say, is history. I do remember telling Wendy early on that Erik was fun to play with, but not the sort of guy I'd see myself marrying. I've never been so happy to be wrong.

It's hard to believe more than 16 years have passed since that day. I constantly marvel at how fortunate I was to meet him, how glad I am that he was born.

So today, in honor of his birthday, I offer you 37 reasons I love my husband:
  1. It's shallow, I know, but I love that he is so tall. And cute, if I do say so myself. Not only is it useful - he can reach things I can't - but he makes me feel small - in the good way.
  2. His size is also wonderful when it comes time to move the furniture around, something I think we do more than most couples. He has an amazing knack for shuffling our stuff. Never once have we decided to move things back and always we find ourselves infinitely more comfortable.
  3. In fact, he is all about being comfortable. I've learned a lot from him - the importance of socks and slippers, the proper way to tuck a blanket. Still, I struggle to relax. Two and a half years into my early early retirement and still my eye twitches... He finds it frustrating, I think, because taking it easy is so easy for him.
  4. He's also really smart. He ditched a ton of school so he doesn't always think he's smart, but really he is. He married me, didn't he? (Ha ha. Just kidding. That could actually be considered evidence to the contrary, eh?) Sure, he's got some swiss cheese in his basics thanks to a change in his elementary school curriculum (don't ask him to define an adverb, for example) and sometimes he mispronounces words he recognizes from reading but hasn't heard aloud, but he's got a keen eye for urban development, he understands physics, and, though he'd probly not admit it, he's a bit of a history buff.
  5. He's loyal, so much so that early on, at his Aunt's house one Thanksgiving, I drunkenly compared him to a dog. It sort of came out wrong but everyone knew what I meant.
  6. He embraces the canine analogy so much, in fact, that he even promised to "fetch" in our wedding vows, following that up with a "woof." And indeed he does fetch, often. Take out, warm socks, cold water, an extra blanket, things from the car, a toothbrush... I am so super spoiled.
  7. He's also my pack mule and my sherpa. This comes in particularly handy at water parks when dealing with unwieldy innertubes.
  8. He's adventurous and outdoorsy. He likes to explore and he looks so much happier surrounded by nature. One of his all time favorite memories is climbing Half Dome. And, of course, we spent our first summer together camping, our Summer of Love. That may have been when he did his earliest fetching - he rode miles into town on my three speed cruiser to fetch me chocolate cuz I finally convinced him I really needed it. I didn't even give him instructions on what kind to get. I only told him chocolate. I didn't warn him I prefer milk chocolate to dark, or that I can do without any nuts... Much to my delight, he came back with Twix, the perfect fix, which we now call the Chocolate of Love.
  9. He lives in his own world - you know, the one where fruit is salty, hormones don't exist, and I am a princess. I call it the World According to Erik. He insists that everyone lives in their own world, but I swear, not like his. Other features of the World According to Erik? There are only five states of America - California, New York, Florida, Texas, and Chicago (formerly known as the M state) - and only one country in Africa (Nigeriwanda). Indeed, our worlds are so different that we are somewhat convinced we grew up in parallel universes. For example, he never played Kick the Can, and I never heard these clever playground retorts: "So? Sew buttons on your underwear." and "F@cking A? F@ck an O, it's easier."
  10. He loves the ocean and he's not afraid to go in it. I consider the ocean his mistress, but really, she had him first, so I am the other woman. And though he has no fear, he isn't stupid. I know that I can trust that while he often pushes his limits, he never does anything purposefully perilous. I also love that he totally respects the fact that I am afraid to go in the ocean. He agrees that sharks would find me especially tasty.
  11. Though he loves the ocean, he's not really into the seal rescuing. He always says he'd rather be the one calling them in than the one picking them up. Still, he helps me with the really gnarly rescues. I know I can count on him if I really need him.
  12. He's a horrible driver, but then he didn't start until he was 30. I guess since I taught him to drive it is my fault he has totaled two of our cars? In any event, everyone walked away from both accidents unscathed, so I guess you could say he's a great driver.
  13. He's also a great cook. He frequently makes elaborate meals for company (my family, or his). It delights my folks, but sometimes annoys his - as they'd rather have time to socialize with him. I honestly don't think the cooking is a form of escape for him, though. Really, he just likes to see me relaxing and we've always had kitchens that are too small for more than one person to function in them.
  14. On the other hand, he is kind of aloof. I think that makes his affection all the more precious. This is the same reason I prefer cats to dogs, because they dole out their attention much more selectively. Still, even I could handle a little more conversation. He recently asked what I would have him do, "Talk all the time or something?" Well, yeah, some people do talk all the time, at least to their spouses. It's unthinkable to him.
  15. He gives great rubs, particularly of the feet. He did, however, roundly reject my suggestion that he should consider going to massage school. Then I proposed that perhaps I should go to massage school, but he knew, since I don't particularly like touching people, that my matriculation would just be to gather information on how to give him pointers. The truth? I really want to buy a massage table (I think that leverage makes all the difference) and I can't justify the expense without truly knowing how to use it. On the other hand, Erik rightly points out that there is no space in our home to put said massage table.
  16. Massage table or not, he takes great care of me. He tucks me in at night and sometimes even reads me bedtime stories. He's particularly sweet to me when I am drunk - a real enabler, you might say - bringing me a pot to puke in, a toothbrush if I can handle it, peeling me off the floor... And the next morning, he always fetches my hangover breakfast - a half order of french toast and a potato pancake...
  17. Though he's the sweetest thing to me, at his core he's a little mean. We both have a bit of a mean streak, in fact. It's one of the things we have in common - that we're judgmental. I already often feel unworthy of him, so it's nice to be reminded he's human. And besides, we're never mean to each other...
  18. He does like to make fun of his friends. His childhood friends all have disparaging nicknames - like Cow, Toad, and Head - and his current friends never get to live down their legal issues. One friend, who was facing house arrest, was assured that Erik would bring him Chicken in a Biscuit if he actually had to go to jail, insisting the snack food would make great jail house currency. Another friend, who goes to jail on weekends for a domestic dispute involving an altercation with a pot of potatoes, is constantly reminded that he "boiled his wife."
  19. Erik doesn't want children, but he's better with them than he thinks. I remember the first time he ever had to hold Zoe. She was an infant and he held her out as far as his arms could reach, as if she might explode. It was hilarious. Fast forward a couple years, and here they are building a fence together. In truth, he's a great uncle. Granted, he lives in my fabulous Anti shadow. For example, the girls used to refer to him as "Uncle Him" as they never thought of him enough to know his name...
  20. Although they had a rough start, both essentially being my housebound city pets, Erik ultimately came to love Fabe and even unofficially adopted half of him. The specific half varied, depending on which end was spewing whatever needed to be cleaned up... Anyway, I particularly love the story of the time Fabe discovered the lemon meringue pie I'd made for Erik. Apparently Fabe had a thing for meringue and he began devouring it lick by little lick. He'd silently consumed a good portion of it before he got sloppy and started making slurping noises. Erik came across the scene and was not so much appalled as amused. I love that he let Fabe finish his treat.
  21. Erik also loved Blackers, the Attackers. He told me he regretted not adopting half of him after he died. Still, Blackers never knew he was a bastard child. He loved Erik and would be glad to know he was his pallbearer. Erik was my rock through that whole horrible experience. I couldn't have done it without him.
  22. He's also been a really good sport about OC - especially considering the vet bills. His assistance was crucial in helping me find him last year, after his abduction and he was around to take him to the vet while I sat for the LSAT last week. I think we've both become more fond of that feline, if for no other reason than out of admiration for his will to survive. (By the way, I'm happy to report he's doing great on his new diet... Sure, it's only been a week, but it's been a good one...)
  23. Really, though, Erik is not a cat person. Growing up he had a series of manly boy dogs. The only one I got to meet was the wonder dog, Jesse. In his prime, Jesse would climb trees. Jesse would wander his neighborhood unattended - he refused to be chained - and even when he was more than half blind, he'd venture out on to mossy rocks just to smell the ocean. I remember once I lost track of him while walking West Cliff and later panicked that he was gone. I was relieved to find he had just ditched me, of course, and taken himself home. Jesse knew I wasn't a dog person, but he convinced me that he wasn't just any old dog. We bonded once, on a beach with a stick, and the mystery vomit he consumed may have indeed been mine, but still I regret not embracing Jesse more fully. He was a really good dog.
  24. Erik's got a great family. And he loves them so much. He particularly enjoys meeting his mom for nature walks in Big Sur and he is delighted she's finally agreed to let him trim the trees that so relentlessly clutter up her view. He's also been enjoying the company of his youngest brother, who recently moved into town. Six years apart, they didn't move in the same circles as children and it's nice to see them finding common ground as adults.
  25. Most of all, though, he loved his Grandpa Nelson and his cousin (and birthday buddy) Kate. It's nothing short of tragic that they have both since moved on. Though I wasn't there to see Erik enjoying so many meals with his Grandpa - always served on TV trays and reportedly washed down with strawberry milk - I was fortunate to share one of his most treasured evenings with Kate. It was at her sister's wedding in Las Vegas that Kate and Erik finally got to hang out like adults. As adults are prone to do, especially in Vegas, they got stinking drunk on Tequila and shared countless stories, confessions, and big belly laughs. In particular, we all found it quite amusing that he accidentally dropped Kate on her head in the casino while trying to hold her upside down. At least it was in a carpeted area. We'd spent the majority of the night on concrete by the pool... I also remember how funny it was, at least for us, when Kate accidentally locked herself out of her hotel room. She'd come out just after we'd dropped her off to tell us not to laugh at her. We hadn't been laughing at her, really, but we sure did then, as she had to wake her roommate for reentry. Kate got the last laugh, however, as she looked fresh as a daisy the next morning while Erik was leaving an extra large tip for the maid who would have to contend with the barf-filled bathroom. Kate's absence makes every birthday season a little bittersweet. If I could give Erik just one gift, it would be another day to spend in the company of his cousin.
  26. Even though he loves his family, he once told his mom when he grew up he wanted to be a pirate. She tried to discourage this ambition by pointing out that pirates had to go away and live on ships and that they never got to see their families. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt her feelings, but he recalls she was crushed when he told her that'd be okay.
  27. On the other hand, I think he did intend to hurt her the time she came to his aid when he suddenly began crying. She asked why he was so upset and he told her to put her hand in the drawer nearby. He then promptly slammed the drawer shut, thus sharing with his mom in a rather evil sort of way just what had made him cry.
  28. Erik also loves my family. He has a secret desire to be my brother Billy's neighbor. It's actually really precious to me, the way the two of them get along, although they've spent precious little time together. Equally precious is how Erik appreciates my baby brother, Kevin. I love that he let Kevin move in with us, sharing our too small home, for the first ten months of our married life. It wasn't always easy, but it's a time I still cherish.
  29. He finds simple ways to express his affection. For example, he once wrote sweet nothings all over my wall in permanent marker. Luckily, my grow light bleached it out before I moved so we didn't have to paint. Still, I wish I'd taken a picture to preserve the sentiment. He also makes fantastic bouquets out of wildflowers to show me he was thinking of me while he was out hiking.
  30. He has great hair. I've mentioned before my envy of his fabulous afro experiment and his long, girlie eye lashes. Also, unlike me, he had hair as a baby. As if trying to find its most perfect shade, Erik's childhood hair auditioned all the colors - red, blonde, brunette, even black - before settling on his current impressionable sandy brown.
  31. Despite my pathetic hair, he honestly seems to think I'm beautiful. Like all the time - fresh out of bed, sick with the flu, crying my eyes out. It's crazy, I know. They do say love is blind...
  32. He's incredibly picky. He'd rather do without than settle. This often poses a problem (he has very few possessions) but it also reassures me that he genuinely adores me. After all, I know he'd sooner be alone...
  33. He's very well trained and prepared to win. At least that's what he told the producers at the Price is Right that fateful day so many years ago when I became a Contestant Not Appearing on Stage. And believe me, it was true. If he had gotten to play a pricing game, he would have won. He knew where to stop the Range Finder, what to guess in Cliff Hangers, what to write on the check in Check Game, and where to place his Plinko chips. I even think that if he were to play Check Out that he might have tried my controversial (now outdated) strategy of guessing $10 for the first item and 1 penny for the rest... I love that the producers wished him luck. I always thought that luck was offered in case he got on stage, but now that I know they had no intention of picking him, I wonder if they meant he needed luck to go on living with me?
  34. He bought me a giant diamond for my wedding ring. I didn't think I needed a giant diamond, really, but then I sort of went with it. The gem is way out of our price range but I'm so happy we went for it. Just as Erik's size makes me feel small, my rock makes my fingers look dainty. And it makes awesome rainbows in the afternoon.
  35. He also gave me this big white teddy bear years before that. I had fantasized that a cute boy would give me just such a teddy bear ever since 6th grade. I remember the smile on his face when he first saw it while we were buying socks of all things... Sometimes I think the bear is the reason we accidentally moved to Ukiah. It's certainly the best thing that came out of the whole inland experience.
  36. Though Erik thinks I've tried to kill him multiple times, he sort of doesn't mind. He fully blames himself for the incident involving the bike and the lawn mower and I think he finds the rock and the tent story a tad romantic. In fact, if I do ever accidentally kill him, he's said he'd want me to get away with it.
  37. And the newest thing I love about him, that I just learned yesterday while watching "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?", for years he believed the Star Spangled Banner started out, "Jose, can you see... " Such a California boy.
As you can see, I am one lucky girl. This list is in no way exhaustive (although thanks to procrastination, it has been exhausting). Suffice it to say that I am so grateful to have Erik in my life and I hope that this is just one of many many birthdays we get to spend together.

Happy birthday, boyfriend.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

like watching paint dry

I was on call for all of 23 minutes before the phone rang with a rescue. I can't really complain. I haven't been on the beach in more than a month. I was a bit surprised, though, to be called out of bed, as this is only the fourth animal in as many weeks, and the first one after hours in a long while. It's the off season, after all. To think that just four short hours ago I was snuggled up with OC (who is just now returning to normal, though he appears to have a sore throat from all the intubations...) and now I am sitting at the seal site watching fluids slowly drip into a sea lion who is enjoying her chemically induced snooze. Anyway, there was no ignoring the call. The poor thing was seizing on the drive on beach an hour from my home. I couldn't roust anyone who lived closer, so she had to wait for me to get there. Luckily, our electric gate has finally been installed so I was able to swing by the site to get drugs. Previously it was way too creepy to go there alone after dark and wrestle with the heavy gate. Also I am grateful that the State Parks guy waited (on over time) with her, so she didn't become a speed bump and so that I would have help boxing her up.

So I don't have pictures yet, cuz it's dark and I didn't grab my camera anyway. I don't have a name yet, cuz the folks that issue the names are all sleeping. I decided not to even wake the vet tech to get orders for meds. I know the drill. I've stopped the seizures (and I was dead on with my weight estimate) and now I'm giving fluids. Really really slow fluids. If I had called for orders I'm nearly positive they would have spared me the fluids. Rescues after dark are generally followed with a dump and run. But I have a feeling if she is not dead by morning she will be way too up to subQ so I am doing it now.

In the meanwhile, I am feeling really guilty I haven't finished Yvette's birthday blog. It's been a week since I took the LSAT, a week since OC's been in the hospital, and have I done a darned thing? Mostly no. I am so glad she is too busy to read my blog, or she would notice how neglected a friend she really is. And now, with Erik's birthday only two days away, he's got to be my focus. At least sitting here watching the fluids drip is giving me a chance to update my blog, eh?

Anyway, it's still pretty creepy here alone at night. The fluids are almost done so I think I'm going to run. I locked OC in, so I'm hoping he'll be willing to resume the snuggling where we left off. More likely, he'll be annoyed from being trapped with Monkey for the last four hours and he'll want to go outside. I realize I'm the adult - not only that, I'm the biped with opposable thumbs - so I could still keep him trapped inside even if he's dying to go out, but really, I don't have the heart. Even though the dietary changes seem to be working, I'm not totally optimistic it will be sustainable so in the meanwhile I am trying to cater to his every whim. He's a cat, so his whims are pretty simple - in, out, eat, sleep. It's the least I can do.

Two weeks and two days until LSAT scores are posted. Did I mention that I hate waiting?