36 things I love about Wendy

Wendy is officially my oldest friend. And by that I mean the friend I've had the longest, of course, not the most geriatric... I wish I could say I knew her when she was the soccer playing cutie to the left. Alas, we were eight then, and not yet transplanted to Tiffany Elementary School. She may wish we'd known each other then, too, so I wouldn't have been tempted to include the photo below - her fourth grade picture - from the year we actually met. Not that Wendy's fourth grade picture is bad. It's fourth grade after all, and it was the era of Magnum P.I., so Hawaiian prints were definitely in. If I recall, I was wearing Izod in my school photo. Graciously, they only shoot your torso, so no one can see my dreaded Tuff Skins, the bane of my elementary school existence.

Wendy was, and still is, so much cooler than me in every single way. Not only has she never, to my knowledge, sported Tuff Skins, I'm practically certain she never peed her pants waiting for the lunch bell to ring. (Sadly, perhaps you already surmised, my fourth grade self cannot claim the same...) She seemed so at home, so comfortable with herself. I would've never guessed she was as new to the school as I was. And it was obvious already that she was nicer than me. She would have never pelted Naomi Largo in the face with a big red ball for putting the moves on her square dancing partner...

Wendy's best friend at the time was Daisy and, man, I just thought they had the coolest names. All my life, it seems, I've always known another Jenny... In college, for example, I was one of four Jennys: I was Jen Down the Hall, as opposed to Jen my Friend, Jen my Roommate, and Jen Across the Hall... Never have I met another Wendy or Daisy. To the left you can see them at 6th grade graduation. I wasn't there. I had left a week earlier for the annual Thomas Family pilgrimage to Pennsylvania, the homeland. I think plane fares must be cheaper before the school year ends, cuz it wasn't the only last of day of school I missed. It's the just the only one I still bug my parents about. I too could have been pictured wearing a belted dress with puffy sleeves. But there's no way my parents would have gotten me a corsage. See what I mean about Wendy being super cool?

Twenty six years later, I remain impressed by how comfortable Wendy is in her own skin. She's still a snappy dresser and a nice girl. And I'm pretty sure she still hasn't peed her pants in public. I've come to admire more than just her name, her plucky spirit, her fashion sense, and her bladder. Wendy has become in many ways my moral yardstick. I often pause and wonder, "What would Wendy do?"

I love the photo to the right as this is my Wendy. Just seeing that familiar disapproving look, I can hear the sound of my name in her voice. It comes out sharply at first, but is softened with just a hint of southern drawl. Beneath her protest of whatever heinous thing I have done or suggested, I hear amusement. Of course, I could be wrong. In truth, she may very well be genuinely appalled. Either way, Wendy lets me be me and for whatever mysterious reason, she finds it in her heart to call me friend.

I only hope this posting will do her justice. No way to know without getting on with it. So, I give you 36 reasons I love Wendy:

1. She tells a great story. One of my favorites is the recent tale of her unlost cat, Lou Pucci. She told me all about how skittish he was when he first came in to her life. Then she detailed one marvelous evening when he came up to join her in her bed. She laid there quietly, back to him, not wanting to ruin the moment, jumping for joy inside. Before she knew it, the spell was broken. Lou had left on his own accord. The magic had vanished. In its place, there was cat pee. Lou Pucci had peed on her.
   
2. That's not all. Once, when she was minding her own business, a passing Canadian goose let loose all over her, her husband, and the newspaper they were reading. I recall I could hardly control myself as she described the sound of the guano pelting the paper. I imagined that from such heights it had picked up significant velocity. This goose, apparently, was also very well fed. Wendy and Zubin were covered in feces. Zubin was far from pleased. Wendy was shocked, but she could already see the humor in their situation. That's Wendy for you. She doesn't let a little pee or pooh get her down.
   
3. Though she's accepting of the accidents of others, Wendy hopes never to fart in front of her boyfriend. Until she mentioned it, I had never realized that I myself have never heard her pass gas. Perhaps one of the secrets of Wendy's success is that she is exceedingly polite? Or does her power lie with her control over her digestive tract? Anyway, she does accept that inevitably Rob will witness an unexpected intestinal outburst. In fact, she has asked me to send her an email that she can forward to him with instructions on just how he should react. What I find most charming is not her fear of farting, or her planning and preparation for her eventual doom. What I find most hilarious is that I am clearly not to be trusted with direct access to Rob's email address. Wendy's no dummy. Anyway, Rob, in case you are reading this, you are to envelope Wendy in your arms and hold her until her face is no longer red. You will not laugh or comment on any qualities of the broken wind - auditory or olfactory. In fact, you will never speak of the incident again.

4. She is a good kitty mama. Even though Lou peed on her, she still loves him. And though he shows love with his teeth, she also adores his roomie, bad ass Barkley. Of course, they both live in the shadow of the memory of Cody, who you can see in the photo above. Cody was Wendy's Fabian, the remarkable feline companion of her young adulthood. They were blessed to have each other.
5. She has a colorful vocabulary, for a kindergarten teacher. She calls lame guys donkeys and sometimes refers to herself as a turd... In fact, I am the one who claims she won't fart in front of her boyfriend. In her words, she'd rather "poot in private."
   
6. She loves to read. The photo to the right shows that at the tender age of two she took a break from opening Christmas presents to savor the pleasure of a new book. I love that when I predicted I might some day develop an addiction for prescription medications, she suggested I get addicted to reading instead.
7. She encouraged me to start this blog and turned me on to blogs in general. I wonder if she regrets this after reading reasons one through three?
   
8. She has no debt. Seriously, I cannot imagine having no debt. Her mother credits Zubin as the driving force behind this remarkable fiscal feat. Whatever the source, Wendy continues to live within her means and for this I applaud her.
   
9. She's open to corruption. I once hosted a study session and served jell-o shots as refreshments. I love that she ended up going home in my feather dress.
10. She wasn't allowed to come to my 10th birthday party. Perhaps her mother knew I'd someday be the bad influence? It's too bad, really, cuz it was the only surprise party I've ever had and we went to an ice cream parlor.
    
11. She appreciates Erick Mafong. He's another former Tiffany Tiger who is sweet, if not the slightest bit eccentric. We both hold him in high regard, though he may not know it. (By the way, he was allowed to come to my party. In fact, he came early and nearly ruined the surprise...)
    
12. She likes her feet. She submitted this photo of them to Jones Soda. They never made it on to a bottle, but I voted for them a few times.
    
13. She discourages me from selling myself short. Through her, I have learned it is not okay to buy love with food (though I still believe that food is love...) and that people who are "friends with benefits" should both benefit...
    
14. She appreciates a well written letter and forgives when they are not forthcoming. She so enjoyed the letters we exchanged in college that she thought we might someday publish them. Sadly, I have reviewed the unsent letters in my possession and I can assure you no one would pay to read them. Still, she thought enough of my correspondence skills to set me up with a mysterious pen pal, Todd. In the interest of fairness, I ended up neglecting him as well.
    
15. She even loves letters when she's not the recipient. She organized a letter writing campaign for her mother's 50th birthday.
16. She had Zubin. As you can imagine, Zubin was a pretty extraordinary person to capture Wendy's heart. Like many young couples, Wendy and Zubin had a casual wedding - the bride wore Converse. Unlike most young couples, their wedding took place in a hospital shortly before Zubin had surgery to remove the benign tumor growing on his brain. (As if any brain tumor can truly be considered benign? Not malignant, sure, but benign seems a stretch...) What always impressed me was how normal they were despite the challenges of quadraplegia. Wendy and Zubin were adorable, funny, and genuine. They didn't dwell on disappointment and they didn't take themselves too seriously. Theirs was a romance for all ages. In the words of her mom, "they learned how to care for each other in ways not many of us will ever master."
17. When the time came, she let him go with dignity and grace, on his terms, without a fuss.
    
18. Wendy is practical, even about paralysis. When she wanted to end a fight, she left the room. Despite his objection, she'd offer Zubin's underwear to Cody, whose greatest pleasure was snuggling them.
19. She's doesn't sweat the small stuff. For example, she hasn't yet disowned me for the stupid things I say like how I thought it was cool her parents were getting a divorce cuz then she'd get more financial aid in college. And she didn't flinch when I asked Zubin if losing his ability to move improved his sense of hearing when I was amazed he could make out the words to a Red Hot Chili Peppers song that was garbled to me.
20. She did, however, once threaten to punch me. We were both on deadline and though I've lost the specifics, I remember I was being a bit of a pest. But Wendy's not really violent, so I wasn't afraid. Still, she could totally take me if she wanted to. And I don't say that about most people...
    
21. She is smart, though Calculus was not her favorite subject. I remember once our teacher actually scolded her for asking a "stupid question." Ouch.
    
22. We also got a "D" on our final project for English, senior year. Our teacher, Barf Bag (as in Carrier of Ralph...), told us the "D" stood for "Disappointing." We didn't care. In fact, I'm pleased we could be as disappointing to him as he'd been to us. As I recall, we were forced into his class by a scheduling problem - we couldn't have Mrs. Flores and still take Calculus and Journalism... Anyway, I love that Wendy embraced her inner rebel and skated with me on this lame assignment.
23. I once caught her dancing with her mom in their living room to Dan Seals' song, "Bop with Ya Baby." I loved getting a peek into their private life. It was refreshing to see that not every mother-daughter relationship was coated in adolescent angst. They remain close and I consider myself fortunate to count them both among my friends.
24. Wendy does not like email forwards. If you are going to add something to her inbox, it better be original.
    
25. She can drive stick. I can too, now, but she's been driving stick since high school. She can also back into parking spaces, something I still avoid.
26. She's learning to drink scotch.
27. She embraces her inner dork. For example, she never hid her affection for Huey Lewis. I was so bummed when I saw him in the SF airport and failed to get his autograph for her. I stopped myself as I knew if I'd approached him I would've blathered something about how cool Wendy was for loving him even though he was so dorky. Only later did I realize I could've just gone up and told him my name was Wendy and I was his biggest fan...
28. Our younger brothers were friends. We agree that it is better that we do not know the details of the adventures they had together.
29. She was our Prom Queen and she had her own unofficial fan club - a collection of cute sophomore boys who are now her lifelong friends. Not surprising, now that you know so many wonderful things about her, eh?
30. She collects Pink Panthers. This picture features the very first of her menagerie. You may recall from her mom's blog that she was once consoled by a Pink Panther cup purchased for her by her aunt after she'd been spanked for harassing her brother. She's also fond of crows, which is how she came across this most excellent piece, done by a mutual friend of ours (whose fan club Wendy and I are most definitely in...).
31. She's not shy and she owns her truth. She swears I tell this story wrong, but as I remember it, she was once the focus of an adolescent boy's lame attempt at blackmail. She refused to be held hostage by his threat to reveal the details of their innocent rendezvous. Instead, Wendy announced them herself while standing on a bench and commanding the attention of her field hockey team. As I recall, it went something like this, "He tried to put his hands down my pants and I let him..."
32. While she agrees that girls have effectively ruined pirates for boys, she does not agree that vikings are next. I don't know, though. Vikings have all the same appeal - cute costumes, funny accents, an excuse to drink and carry weapons... And I've even seen them featured on the Backyardigans. You heard it here first. It's only a matter of time.

33. She is a great friend. She makes me wish I lived in the Northwest so I could attend social gatherings with her such as Sausagefest and CD parties. And I'm secretly jealous of Debbie, her high school best friend pictured above. Those two keep in touch like nobody's business. I'm more a laissez-faire best friend myself. I'm convinced my life is more interesting when the stories I've collected over a couple years are condensed into a single marathon phone call or a couple of verbose emails.
    
34. She doesn't feel old. Sometimes I do.
    
35. Perhaps this is because she is athletic. Besides field hockey and soccer, as a kid she also ran track and played basketball. As an adult, she walks to work and is a member of a climbing gym. (Just don't call her "svelte." That didn't go over well when she heard it was used to describe her by a friend's parent. I know how she felt. I heard a friend's dad once called me a "grub." I'd take "svelte" over "grub" any day...)
    
36. She let me keep the papier mache cat I made for her. It's technically unfinished anyway as she didn't think glow in the dark eyes were a great idea and now I can't decide... Besides, she claims to love the purple scarf I knitted for her years later in exchange.

So happy birthday, Miss Wendy. Here's to another 26 years of friendship. May you always be my oldest friend.

P.S. An extra special thank you goes out to Merry ME, Wendy's awesome mom, who hooked me up with the groovy pictures. There are so many more you didn't get to see (my true present to you, Wendy) but which I thoroughly enjoyed...

P.P.S. And since she asked, here's the shot of me and Wendy at our high school graduation. See how my eyes are closed? Just one more piece of evidence that Wendy is at all times cooler than I am: