you don't say

I'm really having list envy. When I started this month I had delusions of grandeur. I thought maybe I could produce something half worth reading, something like you'd find on McSweeney's, but as you've seen, I've pretty much just cobbled together some crap each night so I could feel somewhat accomplished and go to bed. Sorry about that. Not sorry enough to change it, I'm sure, but sorry all the same.

Had I not been entirely slothful today (including a delicious session of "family nap time" when I joined Erik and the two kitties in bed this afternoon), I might have been able to make another list of elephant seals I've rescued. But considering I didn't help with the two they got today and I only got two myself yesterday and I don't believe two items makes a list, I'm out of luck. Besides, I've been too lazy to upload my photos. So that's out.

I could continue to list the places where the spiders have been taunting me (my couch side table, the bathroom floor, just now on my mouse pad), but that would be super redundant. Worse than just phoning something in, I think. Though I felt like it was important to share that the spider karma continues, you know, just in case any of you might find yourself tempted to entertain your housebound kitty with murder for hire.

So the most entertaining thing I have come up with tonight are the top ten phrases I have learned from watching Spanish soap operas.

1. No te preocupas. (Don't you worry.)
2. Va a salir bien. (It will come out well.)
   
3. Estoy embarazada. (I'm pregnant.)
4. No puedo creer. (I can't believe it.)
5. Voy a matarle. (I'm going to kill him.)
6. Secuestraron a mi hermanita. (They kidnapped my little sister.)
7. Maldita! (damn)
8. Andrea está emborrachando. (Andrea is getting drunk.)
   
9. Andrea está en coma. (Andrea is in a coma.)
   
10. Roxana está loca. (Roxana is crazy.)
    

Sadly, I don't think my new found knowledge will serve me well in the real world. Though it is good news that I am now able to comfort my imaginary Spanish speaking friends, I hope not to have to discuss with them my murderous thoughts, my unexpected pregnancy, or the kidnapping of any of my relatives.